A Men's Heart.

2009-10-11T23:18:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, this is so frustarting, Jesus! i dunno wad to do! Why does she affects me in such a way. Why must i know her and fall in love with her. It's the most hurtful feeling i ever experience for a girl. I wanna forget her now lord. Help me, even if she is meant for me. amen.

2009-10-05T23:35:00.003+08:00

Hey blog. Imagine this, i rushed down from Outrum park, frantically running home and out again just to meet my besties. i even turned down dinner with my family just to join my 'old time best friends' for dinner. Excitedly rushed out of my house within 15 mins, dashing straight to pasir ris with a thrilled heart to catch up dinner with my lovely jai-ho gang just to realise that they have started dinner without me at downtown east. So i thought to myself, " ok, maybe they are just hungry", so i just went on with my journey. Soon after reaching Pasir Ris, i called to ask if they have reached the MRT, but they were still at downtown east. So i continued to wait while my gastrich juice was starting to kick in and causing much distress to my emotions. sent one more msg out but never got to recieve a reply. Inside me was really burning with frustration as i walk to have a lonesome dinner. Every ounce a blood within me was boiling but every muscle of my heart was hurting really badly, i asked myself and God, " Jesus, why are my best friends treating me in such a manner". I continued to question God as inside me cried PAIN,PAIN,PAIN! It really hurts, very badly. Am i sent to them just to fill up the empty space? I am really their good friend? Do they even treat me as a human?..........

Jesus saves. amen

2009-10-03T21:25:00.002+08:00

Sigh, today was a tiring day! a whole full day of studying plane concepts and the instruments found in the plane. kinda exciting la, kinda admit that i love this challenge though it's hard! wish i could you this sbject as a module for my poly code cuz i have so much interest in it that i am aiming to be the top pilot in SYFC. OMG ! but in will come true in JESUS name. AMEN! :) hmm, was raining kinda heavily after that which thus throw me into a world of contemplation of having to attend arrow. was very tired and it ended late, but i really wished to go to just refresh myself in God's word. but i could not make it. and thus not being able to see you. hais. But i will always find you in my heart, secured and fasten. ILY.

2009-10-03T00:02:00.003+08:00

It's been almost one week since i got your letter and i know the emotions within me are building up. Not because i can't be patient but because you're a insane girl! No one, no girl has made me feel this way before, i never ever had such a yearning for a girl ! You have finally brought me down on my knees to concede defeat that fact that a girl can weaken my heart. You are special indeed, very special. And i yearn for you everyday. Thinking of you makes me happy, but tiring at times. Is this how one feels when he experience true love? i just wonder. hmm.... oh well, i just hate the fact that you're so near me yet so far, especially that night at chomp chomp, it was so frustrating seeing you there, but i can't even utter a word to you let alone stretch out my hands to draw you near. it's tiring! Whenever i recieve a sms, a flashback memory of always once recieving your msg race pass my mind. i wish i can communicate with you once again and just let you know how much i'm missing and loving you! i really regretted my choice. JESUS PROSPER MY MISTAKE !!! -amen

2009-09-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

Today was one of the day where i finally saw sunlight again! It was my first ever lesson in Youth Flying Club. Finally a full-pledge student! A career craft out out to be a pilot and i believe it will be BLESSED BY DADDY GOD, JESUS! But honestly, nothin can be compared to a much more delightful news that I FINALLY GOT A RESPONSE !! A LETTER!!!! and BEFORE SUNDAY!!!! yeah! Praise The Lord! really needed it men! i was so so so afraid that you will never ever be mine again! but DADDY GOD answeres everything! yeah! Now, i'll just sit back and wait for JESUS to deliver you back into my hands. i believe he would one day and i'll just wait patiently while the lord develops us to wad he wants us to be now! LOVE DADDY GOD & YOU !!!! :)

2009-09-25T01:43:00.002+08:00

It's been 4 long days since i last past you my letter. But not a single word from you has come in yet. hmmm, i just wonder wad and how you're feeling now. I sure hope you have not given up on this relationship yet. Though i know i hurt you, i wish you would just let me heal that wound. hais, now i reallly know how those girls out there feel when i just give them up. sigh, i seriously like you but i can't b with you neither do i know if i would ever get that chance again. it's hard to love you seriously. i've made a pact with Daddy God though. if nothin is still heard from you by Sunday, just guess i'll have to give you up den. 3 more days to Sunday. FASTER! TIME IS RUNNING OUT! ):

2009-09-21T21:31:00.003+08:00

Father! Those thoughts of her are killing me! Thinking of her day and night are so so so tiring! I HATE IT! Why did i even chose to walk that path and end up regretting so so much! Why is it she means so much to me and yet i did not even know it? So many people think that girls come to me so easily, YES! they do, but what's the point when all i ever want is her. Daddy God,I wished time can just turn back and just give me one more chance. Give her back to me! I promise to love and cherish her much more den i used too. Don't let her leave with another guy, keep her for me Lord! Give me one more chance to do and fulfil what i have not given her. Thank you daddy. amen

2009-08-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hais! This is so weird la, i'm always a person who does not care or regret after i have put down something or choose to leave something. But why is it this time i waver upon this issue. I thought i'm always one who can just forget things as it is and walk past with my head still lifted high? But,why is it this time, i walk around with my head down, heart full of regrets and confusions, always deep in thoughts over matters which are the least priority in my heart. Have i over estimate this issue? I really don't know. I wish i could just clear matters up as it is. But i choose to run and avoid solutions, dodging every probability and means of coming into contact. And i shall uphold my choice, "WHEN IT'S TIME TO LEAVE, JUST LEAVE". SILENTLY.... I hope my choices are right this time.

2009-08-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

What the fuck is wrong with you people! i hate it when you peps just back out the last min and put me into a freaking dilema! If your cannot make it, just tell me that your cannot comfirm la! Don't say yes and just at the last hour pull out of the bloody setting! i always have to find replacement or risk being alone at one point! you think it's fun? it's fucking irritating to be alone just because of your bloody imbecile irresponsibility attitude you possess! You think very easy to fing replacement at the last hour huh? eh please la,ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! i'm so pissed with you people! And guess wad? Since changing myself does not work, and people still see me as who i am in the past, why not just get back to who i was again? MYSELF!

2009-08-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

God, i really need help right now! Come down to me Lord! i need your Grace and Mercy! but nevertheless, i trust in you.

2009-08-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

WOW! how freaking dead is my blog? but well it's the place i thrash out my freaking problems. And here it comes next! Just like a flower tossed into the ocean,at the mercy of the ferocious winds and the strong mighty current beneath every crest and trough. I felt helpless for once. I dunno how or what in the world can stir-up such a storm in my life. i've nvr experience this problem ever,not once. And now that it has apppear before my every eyes, i do not know how to handle it let alone solve it. Have i made the right choice? I guess i can only stop and ponder......

2009-06-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

9 June was a day of confusion for me. What started off bad ended good.... i think? Scratching someone's undercarriage, having some unsettled problems looming around and spending long hours pondering over unhappy events which josh koh called it as uncalled-for. Hmm, had BBQ at ECP too and spend the whole night there. Had my own praise and worship session at the beach alone with my phone's mp3 and stared into the ocean for almost the whole entire night thinking if my ultimate choice is right. What else can i say, but it's all in the LORD'S HANDS.

2009-06-08T14:25:00.002+08:00

Being Naive or making the Right choice?

Lord! I'm like so lost now. i don't even know what's the right choice for me? I feel like i'm stuck at a diverging road. One is the right choice, but which is the right one? Both are good choices, but i have to choose one ultimately. Staring at the photo, i just feel so lost suddenly. What happened to the choice of life i once decided to live, why has this unprecedented fate suddenly decended upon me. I'm so tired and torn apart by this constant fret on my mind. i just feel like giving up both, but can i ? I cast my cares into your hands Lord, you take care of it! I'll be waiting for your ans then.

2009-06-07T11:45:00.000+08:00

Alright, todays's seminar was fun, stupid questions. but had fun taking pictures! haha!

2009-04-23T19:36:00.004+08:00

Hmm, today poly was FUN, smacking one another in the lift! haha! Alright, had so many new modules, did not know what foreign language the lecturer is teaching us la. Especially Electrical Technology, fighting against the fatigue within me and the due fact of the many sleepers in the class. Hais, had a free period and decided to take class photo! hmm, after that was home after drinking my most beloved FRUIT JUICE !!! (:

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DFRSM- 1A/02

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2009-04-15T16:27:00.002+08:00

Here i am sitting at Cdans enjoyig the aircon along with the cold condusive enviroment to fall into the third dimensional world called dreams. Just completed my studies & watching fast and furious 4 when i suddenly looked out to realise how blue the sky can get, accompanied by the lushly sprays of emarald green corteosy of mother's nature 'lungs'. Birds flying around so carefreely. Everything seems so perfect when i recieved a msg bout some stupid act commited by someone. this let me to think what exectly is stupidity. i ask around many times and the ans i get was just ' people without brain lor'. but those it really mean that way? To me, stupidity is nothin but just the absence of common sense and the ability to know the right from wrong. this simple lack of wisdom and logic has lead many homosapains into commiting foolish things which has resulted in deep regret by the individual. For worse case, stupidity has lead people into worse case situations which can nvr be turned back to advocate the devastating effect it has blown into. Since all people are born with brains why do we sometime just don't stop to think of the consequences which the denomination equations would be. Well, mayb as the saying goes, TO ERR IS HUMAN. Human are just prone to make mistakes and definately, to learn from them for future situations.

2009-04-14T16:32:00.002+08:00

Alright. I LOVE MY POLY CLASS. DRFSM/1A/02 Though it's the first day we already had so much laughter and friends. I'm truly blessed compore to other classes which i heard was dull and boring.. It's just the first day and almost everyone has their own nickname.. Sadly, i don't have, neither do i want.. I dunno wad the future might hold for me, but i sure am ready for the crap and lame jokes which would pour forth for the next 3 years. Honestly, most of us were worried that all this laughter would affect our studies, but.... well, let's just wait and see. Lastly, my class is like bless with most of the chiobu of Resort Facilities Services & Management. THANK GOD! (:

2009-04-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

Today was a rather cool day, it was suppose to be SENTOSA-ing for me, nicholas,azimah and hongting. but it rained cats-and dogs. Drenched,Kaput,Soaking, whatever you can think of which consist of aqueos blue liquid. WATER. But oh well, the rain did not stopped us from having fun, we just played in the rain, walking from shelter to shelter, braving every drop of water which mather nature unleashed on us, the water felt like tiny missiles hurled by kim-jeong-Il at us honestly. Took hell loads of picture, corteousy of Azimah who did not join us in the water. Reason: TOILET TO CROWDED TO CHANGE ... So she just sat at the sandy beach and watch us play, adding to those banglahs in underwear jumping their bloody heads of into the water. YUCKS! CONTAMINATION!!! Ohya, aft that 188 back to lot1 to meet Dar for dinner and sent her home before MY HOUSE !!! (:
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PICTURES !

2009-04-08T17:27:00.003+08:00

SILVER ! That's wad my beloved band has gotten yest at SYF2009. Though we recieved that medal, i'm sure everyone is proud of you. YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST! i believe. Anyway, yest started with the 5 power meeting at the coffeeshop for breakfast, had teh-o. Followed by proceeding to school and finally car to SCH. Met Darylene and Peirong there, my two best friends and sat in the hall. After everything ended, headed to BB Mac, as usual and slacking around. at around 5, went to causeway to catch UNBORN with azimah,nicholas,hongting,ben wu and kaiyi. Had another mac treat and den home!!!! haha.

Pictures !!

2009-04-05T23:50:00.002+08:00

Alright, I shall blog again cuz my part-time darling ask me to update. So ya, for the last past 48 hours it was power-packed with activities. So packed that whenever i come home i just peng on my bed, sms a little and POOF! I'm suck into LALALALA land. Anyway, yest had alumni band, followed by MOVIE marathon at Sabrina's house. Watched Coming Soon and was trying to figured out the whole bloody cock-up subtitles translated by THAI people. ( teach-an-elder-brother, teaches-an-elder-brother, feed, etc... ) carried on with When A Stanger Call and then Benchwarmers. Suppose to watch 2Fast2Furious, But azimah was furiously chasing me out of the house, so i had to FURIOUSLY miss my Furious show. After that,walk to lot1 while hearing pecos and had dinner at LJS. Wanted to send Jiali home after that, but she ask me to go home, so SWEET right? Awwwwww.. HAHA!

FOr the last 24 hours, i was in central singapore, at the bay area, locality of a shoppping mall called suntec-city. Raining heavily as it was, Those Rain-flies kinda declared war on the homosapians standing on the MRT platform at bukit gombak. I mean, they came in full-force, thousands of flies were swarming around me, and they were flying with their eyes close, slamming into anything within their path. Their armies were numerous and were influx, that of the common factual of the foreigners in singapore. Anyway, had dinner at JP with azimah and athirah after that. We were walking around when azimah and i started fighting over who knows Jp better. But as usual, i won the verbal war concluding to the fact that i visited there almost everyday for the 2008 year. Well, that is all for the past 48h, adding to the fact that i was talkin to dearie for the past 2 days too. Almost every min.. (:

2009-04-01T23:45:00.003+08:00

Today was fun! Damn fun! Fun untill i dunno where to start SIOL! Ok, firstly i was pulled out of my dreams den out of bed to repair some GOD-FORSAKEN printer which bloody break down just as my dreams were reaching it's climax. DAMN! but never mind, i go watch news lor, nothin to do wad. NOTHIN TO DO = WATCH NEWS LOR! Bout 3pm when to met halim to go band, had a few sectionals before helping some percussion to play properly. Then, band end.. ( OOOhhhhhh, so sad ). After band, walked out with all the Qms, and TengJiao, crapped bout AUDI R8, basically it's colour. aiya, all the freaking tom-yum juice crapped all come out la, anything related to AUDI R8, just whacked only ar, but still i LOVE that car! who wanna bless me with the car, go ahead, i won't mind ya? I don't mind being AUDI-ED at times! (: Aright, proceeded towards the Bus-stop and crapped further more with azimah and JoeyTan who said i diao her when i did not. Hmm, talk to Darling today, but she said SHE DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! but she just kidding la. Bet, she can't resist me!

* To Cai Jiali ,

- I just wanna dedicate this part to my Part time Darling Girlfriend. Cuz she accompany me the whole night! and she also dedicate one post for me!!! Lastly, i'm waiting for my AI QING CAN tmr! i want sandwich! PEOPLE, DON'T BE JEALOUS! IT"S JUST MEANT FOR ME,HER BF !!!!

2009-03-31T16:19:00.006+08:00

I'm really sorry for everything, it's not tt i don't like like you, it's just that i'm not really ready to go into a relationship currently. Honestly, i have just established the fact that i've finally successfully overcome the hurt and night-marish of my past relationship a few months ago. You're a nice person and i don't wish to hurt you too. You should also know the truama i when through a few months ago and i don't wanna go through it again. Pls forgive me. Maybe one day it will happen, but it's definately not at this point of time. All i want to do now is just to concentrate on my flying and studies. Please understand and support me for now alright?

Honestly, wad's a relationship to us? To me, it's not just a fact of 2 people coming together to cohabit or just to speak sweetness or honey-filled words into one another's life. A relationship is more to that, it's more den meet's the eyes, it's tough to understand and that's why i have finally come to realise why the elders always say love is only for the mature to establish. A relationship is not bout knowing each other superbly well, it's all about understanding one another, each others characther's and behavior. NOT LOVE. LOVE can never be understood! Love also brings about understanding to each other's life, Caring,Joy,Patience,Forgiveness,Trust and most importantly, LAUGHTER. If any of this element is missing, nothing can mitigate the fact that your relationship is moving towards a downwards spiral catastrophe. A relationship is meant to be happy, if you feel burden, it's not a relationship but rather a curse. and the best way to save yourself before a curse manifest, is to break away from it. Lastly, relationship can't be forced, for it will never bloom like the lilies of the field no matter how long tt relationship had lasted.

2009-03-30T23:00:00.003+08:00

Damn! It is just Barely 3 weeks and i have realised that my blog has been stripped of all it's privacy. Content spewing out uncontrollably to the public, the passive eyes smuggling out its perfect innocence to babbling gossiping mouth out there in the world. Oh-well, since den, i guess it's alright to let people out there know abit bout me or the last 24 hours since the day commenced.

Today started with me meeting SeokTing,SiQi and Kiajoo at the main gate of DSS, went in to collect my SGC before proceeding to Lot1 for Lunch. Had PizzaHut but i ate some cock-up Baked rice instead, dunk 3 glasses of Pepsi into my stomach in between. Later watched 12 rounds at the cinema before slacking around with them and walking aimlessly and taking Mr.T home. Honestly, I miss my Sec school friends alot people! I mean, seriously, cherish every sec with them, forge as many memories with them. even if it may be bad, it's still memories. TIME WAIT FOR NO MEN. Once you miss those precious miniature seconds it will never ever return. NEVER. Don't regret it!!! hmm, i feel like i'm doin some friendship workshop or other shit. but well, i'm speaking the truth! ACCEPT IT OI !

2009-03-28T23:57:00.004+08:00

Alright! My Third! Third post liao! hmm, today, was like any other saturdays which occur since i walked the face of this planet which is on it's way to destruction. Techically, i had alumni practices in the morning, followed by my own sectional with abu and friends. After that, we went mee-goreng-ing at the nereby coffeeshop before deciding to just slump our whole body mass at the nereby club to the fact of it's condusive air-conditioned enviroment! Decided to read my book there before driving to yewtee to meet up with azimah they all for dinner. Was savouring my scrumptious spicy mcspicy when i was rudely interrupted by some God-forsaken 60 EARTH HOUR programme which greatly hinder my vision on just focussing on where i should execute my next bite! oh well,this programme is just a total bull-shit to me, a failed proposal, a GOOD-FOR-NOTHIN, downright useless and meant for condemning programme! Hey, common la, wad for save the planet for 1 hour but the next 23 hours we're killing it? I mean, it's retarded, it's like trying to put out the fire after fanning it. HAIS! sian-chee-pua la. dunno wad enviromentalist are doin this days. And worse of all! YOU AFFECTED MY DINNER, MY MCSPICY! argh! anyway, i made 7 flowers using tissue paper at mac too la! Azimah said i shd have done 8, den it would mean 'I LOVE YOU' .. But i choose not to do the last one because, the last one would be meant for someone else! the final 8th ROSE..

2009-03-27T23:30:00.002+08:00

Yeah! My second post. i mean, HEY! it's the second! wad an accomplishment to me. C-H-E-H! Alright,anyway, it was kinda boring today as most of my friends are runnung their BLOODY heads off at CCK stadium la! i mean, wad the heck is sports day to me? well, most definately, it's nothin but a waste of time! watching a few competitor running to the Bang of the Gun which can't bloody kill anyone! it's no fun at all!!! and i repeat! NOT FUN AT ALL OI !!! Apart from this, i just realise something! i'm not part of it! so why am i complaining ?!! OK, nvr mind, i no longer understand this EARTH anymore anyway! hahaha! WHATEVER! Anyway, Guys,Girls,Mix, Confused about their gender, I don't care. But just watch the video i post below! damn, funny oi! enjoy ya?! haha

My First Post

2009-03-25T21:20:00.001+08:00

Alright People! My very 1st Post, The Dawn of the new era.. Your must be thinking with all your brain juice why a men like me suddenly choose to blog again after deleting my previous blog right? well, the ans is very easy... i just feel like blogging after reading through my previous blog which was kept a secret! hmm, memories of those days. YEAPS ! hmm, I guess every first thing should be interesting ya? same goes for this post too! alright, what thing could spark a nterest in most people's heart? how bout my life story? nah, guess it's too boring right??? But... Who Cares? it's my blog wad...

SO technically, today i went for band with halim and nazrul, played or shd i say practice the songs for the upcoming concert.. after that come home. WA! boring eh today, nothin to talk actually.. So, i just end here la ! BOOO! (:

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* My Previous Blog is here, feel free to visit.